


Dear Cas

by cuddlemecrowley



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Apology/Explanation, Letter, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-09
Updated: 2013-05-09
Packaged: 2017-12-10 21:17:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/790262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddlemecrowley/pseuds/cuddlemecrowley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A letter to Castiel, written immediately after the events of 8x22.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Cas

Hey Cas,

I can’t tell you these things in person. Things don’t always come out right, especially when I’m talking to you. So here it goes. 

I’m mad. I’m mad as hell. And hurt. I thought I had felt betrayal before but this feels worse. You left me. I bared my soul open for you- bared everything I have open for you- and you left me. You didn’t trust me. 

I get it, though. You’re not sure what to do. Well that’s what’s being human is all about- not knowing what’s right or wrong or even Okay for the time being. You do your best and move on. 

But not to call every once in a while? Not to say “hey I’m okay I’m just running away from Naomi and her angel bitches” or something!? That’s… Dammit Cas I thought you killed yourself before you came back. I spent nights wondering if you were okay or not. I’ve prayed to you. I never prayed before, not like this. 

And then leaving us? No calls no notes no nothing? Dammit Cas I was afraid you’d gone off the deep end. I thought you had done yourself in somehow and got yourself killed or tortured or had whatever Naomi did to you happen to you again and I-

Dammit Cas. I need you. I’ve always needed you. I’ve seen you when you were a fallen angel who took drugs against Satan, when you became a Leviathan, when you had a few screws loose, when you wanted to save me… but you’ve always wanted to save me. I don’t know why but you have. Like I was worth hell and heaven and eternal damnation and Barbie songs on a forever loop. 

I don’t know if I’ll ever be the man for you that I’d like to be. You deserve someone who doesn’t lapse doesn’t drink goes to church has a steady job.. I don’t deserve you. 

But Cas, if you’ll stay… I’ll show you how good I can be. And maybe not so good as well. You know me, inside and out, and you know the person I truly am, but you still want to be here. With me. 

And I need you. Really, truly need you. Not because you kick ass (even if you’re awesome at hunting) or because you’re all-powerful or whatever. I just need you.

So please. Please. Please stay, Castiel. I need you with me. Please stay.

Dean


End file.
